And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
