if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
