He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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