Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
