Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
