White coat. Heels.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
