You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
