Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
