Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
