talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
