After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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