Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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