When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im holly from the hills drunk
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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