We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
