The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
