her vagine was all disorganized.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
