Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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