Christians are straight up FREAKS
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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