Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
