while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
