I want you more than these girls want KFC
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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