her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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