And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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