i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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