So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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