that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I want a musical about memes.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
