Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need a beard to bite.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
