Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
