These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
