i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
