Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
