I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
