whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
