when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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