I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
