dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
