Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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