That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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