ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
