my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
