Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
