Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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