Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
