what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
