And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
