what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
