rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
