After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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