I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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