i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
