buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
