help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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