Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
