My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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