PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Randomize
