I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
